Damn firewhiskey
by TigerLily318
Summary: "I hate hang overs, I hate firewhiskeys, I hate Sirius Black, I hate my life and most important of all I hate James Potter, my new husband as of last night."
1. Prolough

**A/N- Enjoy! R-E-V-I-E-W**

**Disclaimer-I own nothing except my computer.[which sucks by the way]**

The Marauders sixth year. Third semester. Astronomy towers broom closet.

"JAMES POTTER! I COULD KILL YOU!" I shouted enraged. He flinched back. "Why is this my fault!?" he demanded. "Because Black is your bloody best mate and he is the one who LOCKED US IN A BLOODY BROOM CLOSET WITHOUT OUR WANDS!" I shrieked the last part before slumping to the ground and burying my head in my arms.

He slid down the wall beside me and gave a weary sigh. "Look." he said tiredly "I didn't plan this. To tell you the truth I'm supposed to be doing something right now. Something important." he sighed again and an uncomfortable silence permeated the stuffy broom closet. We sat there like that for about an hour in silence uncomfortable close in the tiny broom closet. The only sound was the occasional sigh from either of us.

I was uncomfortably aware of him; his arm so close it was almost brushing mine, his warm breaths barley audible, the way his eyes some times strayed to me but snapped back to staring at a blank space of wall. Finally I snapped. "Ohh bugger it!" I exclaimed and James head snapped to me startled by my outburst, but I ignored him and instead crawled to a space on the wall and started running my hands over it until Potter interrupted me by blurting "What in Merlin's name are you doing woman!"

I thought about ignoring him but instead answered "This is Filches second largest supply of fire whisky. He hides it in secret compartments in strange and unlikely places all over the school. Alice and I found this one in third year while hiding from McGonagall when we sneaked out late one night. We've found six others but we manly take from the larger collections, less suspicious. Any way here we are." around the middle of my speech I had found the compartment I wanted and by the end I had pulled out two small bottles of fire whiskey and two small shot glasses. I turned to see Potter gaping at me in amazement.

Finally he stammered out "Who the bloody hell are you and what have you done with Lily Evens." I rolled my eyes in amusement and quipped "I'm not a _total_ goody-too-shoes Potter. Believe it or not I do leave the library sometimes." he grinned and grabbed a bottle and I shot glass before poring a healthy dose and downing it in one gulp. Whipping his mouth with the back of his hand he replied "I can believe that actually. You have to go to classes." I snorted and took a swig strait from the bottle, his eyes went wide and he missed the glass as he tried to pour another shot. We continued on like that, at first uncomfortably but we soon relaxed with the help of the alcohol. Soon the play full banter turned to drinking games. We played would you rather, the word games and we were now playing truth or dare. We had both finished our first and second bottle and I was almost finished with my third while James was on his fourth. "Okay, Okayyy! My-y first kish wazz Remus." I slurred excitedly. "What!" he yelped drunkenly "My Remus! Remus Lupin! Remus Bloody Lupin was your first kiss!" "Yep!" I giggled.

Then I frowned and said "Wait, w-w-wait _your _Remus? Awww I Knew Remus was gay! No one could be that nice and polite and be strait!" "What!" James gasped out as he roared with laughter. "But wait" he smirked "What's my excuses for being gay?" he asked jokingly. "You? Well here's the thing Potter, you're too bloody hot to be strait! Soo is Black. You know I'm scared to know what goes on in that dorm of yours! For all I know you three and peter probably get into weird orgy crap allllll the time!" I giggled and we sat there laughing and drinking. "Okay MY TURN!" I slurred

"Umm okay. Ohh! I know I dare you to pronounce your undying love to McGonagall at breakfast tomorrow in the fantastic hall and if any one tries to interrupt you-you shout at them that Minnie is yours and if she tells you to stop or tries to punish you -you accuse her of cheating ion you with Sirius! If she says the word Merlin you must burst in to tears and say it was never to be and that you will see her in your dreams before running out of the fantastic hall and- no wait! Skipping out of the fantastic hall and then act as though nothing happened and you act as though you don't understand what any one is talking about!" I shouted out all in one breath and looked over at the laughing James.

"Lily I am never giving you alcohol again!" we both erupted in another fit of laughter before James suddenly turned serious and said "Lily Evens," in a formal voice "I dare you- no I double dare you that if neither of us are in a relationship by the time we are both twenty two that you will marry me." I stared at him for a second before deciding that it sounded like a good idea and that it probably will never happen so I shook his out stretched hand and said "deal." real former like. He suddenly switched into joking mode again and we continued until eventually we fell asleep and that's how Sirius found us the next morning. Sleeping, upset, murderous, and both of us with huge pounding hangovers. I remember my last thought before drifting off was

"Damn firewhiskeys"

**R&R**


	2. The plan

**A/N: Hello people, I just want to say hi and that I hope you like the new story.**

**R&R**

**Disclaimer-I own nothing- if i did Sirius would still be alive.**

* * *

I never drink hard liquor. In fact, if it was anything besides an strawberry martini, I didn't touch it. But today was special. My best friend, in the entire world, was getting married and it was my job, as the maid of honor, to drown my sorrows in hard liquor so I can numb the pain of realizing that I was the last of my friends that was still single.

So here I sit drinking a bottle of firewhisky and pretending to laugh with my friends while inside I'm battling between crying, screaming, and passing out drunk. As of right now, they all seem pretty likely. "I'm telling you I know who they are!" Insisted her friend Mary to Jenna her other friend. For the last five minutes or so they had debated whether or not Mary actually recognized a pair of guys at the other side of the bar. "Mary face it you are drunk!" exclaimed Jenna heatedly. I looked away and watched the other people in the bar. I looked to were the pair that was the cause of the argument. And nearly chocked.

"Holy fuck!" I said shocked. Looking to were I was staring Alice giggled and said "I know there hot right!" "Alice!" admonished Jenna. You are getting married tomorrow!" the only problem was that it was ruined by her giggling as she two watched the two men as one walked away. I muttered an excuse about getting another drink and slid off my stool. I walked over to were the remaining one was sitting and sat next to him and said nonchalantly

"Fancie seeing you here Black." I was acutely aware of my friends gazes burning into my back. The man chocked on his drink and swung around to gape at me before smiling and replying "It's a free country Lily-flower." Sirius Black grinned at me like an idiotic school boy and promptly said "Soo Evens, how've you been since Hogwarts?" "Good and you?" I replied politely. He snorted and said "Look Lily no disrespect or anything but why did you come over here? Not that I'm not glad to see you!" he added hurriedly. I snorted and said, all with a strait face "Well Black you see, after being dragged to my best friends batchlerette party while all I wanted to do was sulk about being single, I promptly found you and created a mind numbingly simple plan of getting us both drunk and then I would seduce you have my wicked ways with you and then tie you to the cheap hotel bed and steal all of your clothes, to sell so that I could bye enough ice cream to last a week and then eat it all in one day while sobbing my eyes out about being forever alone." I finished calmly and took a small sip from my bottle. He gaped, unashamed at me and burst into laughter before gasping out "You are drunk" "Stage one, of my plan complete!" I smirked.

"LILY EVENS!" Mary yelled, and yet was barley heard over the sounds of music and drunken laughter. We both jumped any ways and turned to see her stalking towered me and grabbing my arm while hissing in my ear "Lily Evens if you know two totally hot, and mysterious guys you tell me about them!" she then proceeded to smile at Black and dragged me away. I glanced at black and mouthed "Help me!" he just chuckled and waved. It took me another hour to escape my friends and Sirius's companion still hasn't returned. When I finally escaped and sat down next to him and growled "You're off my plan Black, I'll find another unsuspecting man wearing expensive clothes to seduce." he gasped dramatically and clutched his heart before laughing and barking out "Evens, I think you just shattered my poor, fragile, and unsuspecting heart!" I smiled behind my cup and said in a fake icy-tone "Well then Black, I think know how those poor unsuspecting girls felt when you went whoring around at school." he snorted and said "Speaking of at school, where's the uptight, rule abiding, fun hating, wand up the ass Evans I used to love?"

I chocked on my drink and managed to cough out between laughter and coughing "Wand up the ass!? Merlin Sirius where the bloody hell did you hear that?" he chuckled and said "Well actually it was Remus that said it, he got drunk one night and started ranting about girls and how we should all go gay together and-" "Merlin Sirius! He's the good one!" I squeaked. He laughed and said "Yeah, that's what all the teachers thought too. You should have seen McGonagall's face when he admitted to being the one who put wart powder in her favorite hat." we laughed again and then I sighed "I think I might be drunk." Sirius grinned and opened his mouth to reply when another voice interrupted "Well, well, Lily Evans. I never thought that you would be asking any man to take you home drunk, let alone dear Sirius here." I turned around to see the handsome and smiling face of my childhood enemy…

James Potter.

Behind me I heard Sirius mutter "Think he can be the subject of your plan"


End file.
